Health Q & A Session

There were several gardens here in Bridgetown, open for the weekend, there is one weekend in the Autumn and another weekend in the Spring, it brings a lot of visitors, as most people seem to love looking at gardens even if they can't acheive the same thing themselves. Have to get that brick paving finished before we could think about entering our garden.LOL. We have a number of events which swell the numbers of our little town.

There is the Easter tennis tournament, The Blackwood Valley marathon relay, it consists of 5 legs, running, swimming, horseriding, canoeing and cycling, teams come from all over the world to compete. Then there is the "Blues at Bridgetown" in November, once again it attracts musicians from all over, it has been running for 12 years now
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Just a little tongue in cheek Health Question and Answer Session.

Apologies if you have heard or posted it before.

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is it true?

A Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend your car's life by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: should I cut down on meat and eat more vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficiect mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable.) And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alchocol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made of fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING111 Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you CRAZY? HELLO. Cocoa beans....another vegetable!! It's the best feel good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round is a shape'

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Chardonay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, screaming - WOO HOO! What a ride!


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Happiness is a Butterfly, which when pursued is always just beyond your grasp, but if you will just sit down quietly, may alight on you.